“WEEK 11”
Wow… just realising how hard it is to do any facial expression. You cannot frown as the pins site pull on the surrounding skin. It’s only taken 11 weeks to figure this out and bloody hurts to try. So along with finding it hard to open my mouth fully I also have nearly no facial expression. Great! Going to take it real easy this week, we have a big day coming up on Friday!
“DEAD MAN WALKING”
21/10/2015 Over the course of this journey I’ve met and chatted to lots of friends, some old, some new, today I’m going on a man date to meet a new one. Some friends are just curious to know how I’m doing but some want to offer real support and know first-hand how I’ve been feeling. Simon my “man date” is one of these. To know how depression sneaks in the back door and surprises you means you have been at a low point in your life. I think I’ve been there during my last 11 weeks at various stages but now I feel I’m on the other side now. The days stuck in bed unable to motivate to get up or talk and hours just staring at the floor or ceiling. My lunch date today has told me of dark times over his trauma, he’s a certified “Dead Man Walking” let’s call him Simon. The victim of a head on car crash Simon was not expected to live, the human body and Simon’s will to survive is an awesome testament to the human spirit. Simon was the victim of a head on collision that basically claimed his life. Pronounced dead and with his family told he would not make it and even later if he woke up his brain injury was not going to give him much hope, he has defied all… today, 14 months after this accident I’m meeting him for the first time, to chat, laugh and share stories. Simon’s story is horrific, his injuries make mine look like a walk in the park. Our stories do come together in other ways however, like me Simon is a Drag Racer and even runs the same class as me. Amazingly we even share some of the same friends! Although we met through this very blog. Simon also shared company with a toy bear in hospital which I know is not unusual. This bear however shared Simon’s experiences, if Simon had an operation so did his bear. How cool is that!?
“DARK STORIES”
Simon started to write his story but alas left his iPad on a plane and did not get it returned. Permanently lost, along with video of him learning to walk again. The story he tells is sometimes almost too dark for him to re-tell. I understand this totally. For some, going over old ground is too hard to take, others like myself, find refuge and clarity in the reading over and over. I don’t want to forget the dark times, why? Because there are so many good times on the other side. I said from the early days in hospital I needed a reason for why I was here… I think I’ve found it. Perhaps it was god’s way of telling me to slow down… for those who know me know I give 150% to everything I do, I can’t walk to the shop without turning it into a race with an ultimate championship on the return trip. Why walk when you can run, why not sprint… get it? So slowing down could be the message or it could be just to make time for others around me. I learnt patience with having kids, perhaps I need to learn patience with life?
“ZOMBIE IN THE HOUSE”
I’m talking to my wife about my new friend Simon, I didn’t realise my daughter Sophie (9) is sitting reading behind me quietly reading – her favourite pastime, followed closely by cooking and annoying her little brother who she hates – apparently. So I tell my wife who’s also in my blind spot (to my left) about Simon and how he arrived at hospital pretty much dead… well he was dead and was able to be revived by his amazing team. Suddenly little miss in the back ground pipes up … “so he’s a ZOMBIE? That’s gross!” Sam and I, we laugh! … I just love the way kids think, so this then sparks a discussion on zombies and ghosts and we spend the arvo trying to convince Sophie that no ghosts will come to our house.
Post lunch, wow... What a guy with an awesome story to tell. Simon is an interesting guy with a great back story of who he is. I hope now that we have met we will remain friends and share some moments together. Thanks Simon for your effort to get to know me.
News flash… Simon has decided he will blog his story.
“FITNESS”
Simon and I walked down to the local café. It’s a doddle of a walk about 1 km with a mild hill. I was surprised just how out of breath I was today. I’ve taken it real easy for the last week but my fitness is terrible. I’m used to being able to run 10kms at the drop of a hat, ride 30km through the bush on my MTB whilst trying to catch 20year olds… no problem. Shit I don’t know what I will be able to do post HALO.
Tomorrow is CT scan day…nothing more to say. Feeling a little nervous but great support from friends and lots of messages on FB to keep me positive.
Thursday Scan went well today, it’s almost anti climatic going now as I know what to expect, who I’m going to see heck. I even know staff names and what pillow to best use to rest the HALO on in the donut machine. Afterwards the pillow master and I enjoy a lovely lunch together. I have spent nearly all week at home this week, this has kept shoulder pain at bay and the demons away. I feel good in myself, I’m ready to be…HALO free!
23/10/2015 it’s now Friday and in approximately 3 hours I will be seeing Dr Suttor. He has the potential to change my life completely, if he’s not happy with the break and how its healing the HALO is to be removed and my neck is going to be fused. If this happens, I will not be able to hold a civil drivers licence. Locked neck and one eye as mentioned in previous blogs makes for extremely hard driving. I feel today I’m on trial, heading to court to meet the judge and he’s either going to lock me up or simply acquit me as the prosecutor doesn’t have enough to hold me. Sam is nervous, I can sense it she is a little snappy at the kids this morning. Last night for the first time she got a little shirty with me for not coming to bed at the time she was ready to sleep. I know she’s tired, she’s ready for this thing to come off me as well. 76 days since my accident and the first time pillow master has been cranky with me. I’ve said earlier this HALO not only changes my life but also puts others on trial.
WOW!!! What a day… The HALO has been removed from my head!!!!…I’ve survived HALO hell and my neck has healed! I got Sam to video the removal, it was straightforward but OMG it hurt, Sam said her hands were shaking and at one point she asks if I’d like her to stop filming, I’ll upload the video with this week’s blog entry shortly.
Top Picture - HALO Removed after 74 days! (check out my sunken left shoulder)
Middle Picture - Depression - Simon painted this mask to show is feelings. The red is blood, Pink is Skin and black is the darkness creeping into his world. The jagged lines are broken glass. it represents broken dreams and life path.
Lower Picture - Dr Suttor checking out the CT Scan before giving me the all clear (look at my Helmet from crash - bottom right)
Lower Picture - Halo (bear) keeps an eye on everything.
Wow… just realising how hard it is to do any facial expression. You cannot frown as the pins site pull on the surrounding skin. It’s only taken 11 weeks to figure this out and bloody hurts to try. So along with finding it hard to open my mouth fully I also have nearly no facial expression. Great! Going to take it real easy this week, we have a big day coming up on Friday!
“DEAD MAN WALKING”
21/10/2015 Over the course of this journey I’ve met and chatted to lots of friends, some old, some new, today I’m going on a man date to meet a new one. Some friends are just curious to know how I’m doing but some want to offer real support and know first-hand how I’ve been feeling. Simon my “man date” is one of these. To know how depression sneaks in the back door and surprises you means you have been at a low point in your life. I think I’ve been there during my last 11 weeks at various stages but now I feel I’m on the other side now. The days stuck in bed unable to motivate to get up or talk and hours just staring at the floor or ceiling. My lunch date today has told me of dark times over his trauma, he’s a certified “Dead Man Walking” let’s call him Simon. The victim of a head on car crash Simon was not expected to live, the human body and Simon’s will to survive is an awesome testament to the human spirit. Simon was the victim of a head on collision that basically claimed his life. Pronounced dead and with his family told he would not make it and even later if he woke up his brain injury was not going to give him much hope, he has defied all… today, 14 months after this accident I’m meeting him for the first time, to chat, laugh and share stories. Simon’s story is horrific, his injuries make mine look like a walk in the park. Our stories do come together in other ways however, like me Simon is a Drag Racer and even runs the same class as me. Amazingly we even share some of the same friends! Although we met through this very blog. Simon also shared company with a toy bear in hospital which I know is not unusual. This bear however shared Simon’s experiences, if Simon had an operation so did his bear. How cool is that!?
“DARK STORIES”
Simon started to write his story but alas left his iPad on a plane and did not get it returned. Permanently lost, along with video of him learning to walk again. The story he tells is sometimes almost too dark for him to re-tell. I understand this totally. For some, going over old ground is too hard to take, others like myself, find refuge and clarity in the reading over and over. I don’t want to forget the dark times, why? Because there are so many good times on the other side. I said from the early days in hospital I needed a reason for why I was here… I think I’ve found it. Perhaps it was god’s way of telling me to slow down… for those who know me know I give 150% to everything I do, I can’t walk to the shop without turning it into a race with an ultimate championship on the return trip. Why walk when you can run, why not sprint… get it? So slowing down could be the message or it could be just to make time for others around me. I learnt patience with having kids, perhaps I need to learn patience with life?
“ZOMBIE IN THE HOUSE”
I’m talking to my wife about my new friend Simon, I didn’t realise my daughter Sophie (9) is sitting reading behind me quietly reading – her favourite pastime, followed closely by cooking and annoying her little brother who she hates – apparently. So I tell my wife who’s also in my blind spot (to my left) about Simon and how he arrived at hospital pretty much dead… well he was dead and was able to be revived by his amazing team. Suddenly little miss in the back ground pipes up … “so he’s a ZOMBIE? That’s gross!” Sam and I, we laugh! … I just love the way kids think, so this then sparks a discussion on zombies and ghosts and we spend the arvo trying to convince Sophie that no ghosts will come to our house.
Post lunch, wow... What a guy with an awesome story to tell. Simon is an interesting guy with a great back story of who he is. I hope now that we have met we will remain friends and share some moments together. Thanks Simon for your effort to get to know me.
News flash… Simon has decided he will blog his story.
“FITNESS”
Simon and I walked down to the local café. It’s a doddle of a walk about 1 km with a mild hill. I was surprised just how out of breath I was today. I’ve taken it real easy for the last week but my fitness is terrible. I’m used to being able to run 10kms at the drop of a hat, ride 30km through the bush on my MTB whilst trying to catch 20year olds… no problem. Shit I don’t know what I will be able to do post HALO.
Tomorrow is CT scan day…nothing more to say. Feeling a little nervous but great support from friends and lots of messages on FB to keep me positive.
Thursday Scan went well today, it’s almost anti climatic going now as I know what to expect, who I’m going to see heck. I even know staff names and what pillow to best use to rest the HALO on in the donut machine. Afterwards the pillow master and I enjoy a lovely lunch together. I have spent nearly all week at home this week, this has kept shoulder pain at bay and the demons away. I feel good in myself, I’m ready to be…HALO free!
23/10/2015 it’s now Friday and in approximately 3 hours I will be seeing Dr Suttor. He has the potential to change my life completely, if he’s not happy with the break and how its healing the HALO is to be removed and my neck is going to be fused. If this happens, I will not be able to hold a civil drivers licence. Locked neck and one eye as mentioned in previous blogs makes for extremely hard driving. I feel today I’m on trial, heading to court to meet the judge and he’s either going to lock me up or simply acquit me as the prosecutor doesn’t have enough to hold me. Sam is nervous, I can sense it she is a little snappy at the kids this morning. Last night for the first time she got a little shirty with me for not coming to bed at the time she was ready to sleep. I know she’s tired, she’s ready for this thing to come off me as well. 76 days since my accident and the first time pillow master has been cranky with me. I’ve said earlier this HALO not only changes my life but also puts others on trial.
WOW!!! What a day… The HALO has been removed from my head!!!!…I’ve survived HALO hell and my neck has healed! I got Sam to video the removal, it was straightforward but OMG it hurt, Sam said her hands were shaking and at one point she asks if I’d like her to stop filming, I’ll upload the video with this week’s blog entry shortly.
Top Picture - HALO Removed after 74 days! (check out my sunken left shoulder)
Middle Picture - Depression - Simon painted this mask to show is feelings. The red is blood, Pink is Skin and black is the darkness creeping into his world. The jagged lines are broken glass. it represents broken dreams and life path.
Lower Picture - Dr Suttor checking out the CT Scan before giving me the all clear (look at my Helmet from crash - bottom right)
Lower Picture - Halo (bear) keeps an eye on everything.